Friday, February 6, 2009

Spam, "the Lads from Lagos", and the FBI!

We all get spam. Every day I'm encouraged to purchase viagra, and god knows what else, to "satisfy her every desire," to "make your manhood a steaming hulk of power", or the many, many inheritances of multi-million dollar estates from never-heard-from relatives, and of course the lonely yet beautiful Russian girls who clamor to meet me. Especially notorious are the "Lads from Lagos", Nigeria, a clever mob of email schemers and swindlers. Now, apparently, they've enlisted the Director of the FBI, Robert Mueller, to assist them in their activities. Below, in it's entirety, their email:

"ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.WASHINGTON D.C
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

ATTENTION: BENEFICIARY,

We believe this notification meet you in a very good present state of mind and health.The Federal bureau of investigation (FBI) Washington,D.C in conjunction with some other relevant Investigations Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global intelligence monitoring network that you presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regard to your over-due contract payment which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly. It might interest you to know that we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and have finally confirmed that your contract payment is 100% genuine and hitch free from all facet and of which you have the lawful right to claim your fund without any further delay. Having said all this, we will further advise that you go ahead in dealing with the Central Bank office accordingly as we will be monitoring all their services with you as well as your correspondence at all level.

In addition, also be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, in the person of Prof. Chukwuma Soludo and Mr. Paul Jones along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also told us that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor and the Central Bank office. We were also made to understand that a lady with name Mrs. Joan C.Bailey from OHIO has already contacted them and also presented to them all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your contract fund valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight million united states dollars),but the Central Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on hearingfrom you personally before they go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank informations which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that the main reason why they contacted us so
as to assist them in making the investigations.

We was further informed that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of the contract payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to this irregularities so that they don't fall victim to this ugly circumstance.And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria,you are further advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real office of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) only with the below informations accordingly:

NAME: PROF. CHUKWUMA SOLUDO
OFFICE ADDRESS: Central Bank of Nigeria,
Central Business District,
Cadastral Zone, Abuja, Federal
Capital Territory, Nigeria.
Email: cenbk19@live.com

NOTE: In your best interest, any message that doesn't come from the above email address and phone number should not be replied to and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the Governor of the Central Bank immediately with the above email address and request that they attend to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you receive your contract fund accordingly. To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and authenticate your given particulars below for certainty and onward processing and release of you funds as we may not be held liable for any wrong payment.

YOUR FULL NAME:
COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:
YOUR PHONE NUMBER:
SEX:
AGE:

Ensure you follow all their procedure as may be required by them as that will further help hasten up the whole procedures as regard to the transfer of yourfund to you as designated. Also have in mind that the Central Bank of Nigeria equally have their own protocol of operation as stipulated on their banking terms, so delay could be very dangerous.Once again, we will advise that you contact them with the above email address and make sure you forward to them all the necessary information which they may require from you prior to the release of your fund to you accordingly. All modalities has already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don't have anything to worry about.

All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time,will want you to contact them immediately with the above email address so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out. Should in case you need any more informations in regard to this notification, feel free to get back to us on this email so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract fund as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,

Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C"
"What a wonderful world..." ;-)

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