by Coach Michael Taylor
“After a divorce and several failed relationships I was forced to ask myself this all important question. Is love real? Based on the pain, confusion and frustration of my divorce, I had began to believe that love was a socially generated phenomenon that was designed to cause a man nothing but pain. During the course of my six year marriage I thought I was in love. But the problem was in “thinking” I was in love rather than “feeling” in love. As I contemplated the question, for the first time in my life I had to admit that I really did not know what true love was. After months of self- introspection, I decided that I would not write off love, but instead, I wanted to have the true experience of “feeling” in love. This decision took me on one of the most difficult yet rewarding journeys of my life. This journey challenged me to look at all the erroneous beliefs and perceptions that I had about love and would eventually awaken me to authentic and emotionally connected love.
The journey began with me being willing to identify the source of my inability to “feel” love. I learned that as a result of an emotionally and physically abusive childhood, I had disconnected from my emotions and actually repressed my ability to feel. This disconnection developed into a complete lack of trust of others which resulted in me creating a deep fear of intimacy. This fear of intimacy was the reason that I could not feel love.
It reminds me of the story of the Wizard of Oz. All of the characters in the movie thought the wizard could give them the things they were looking for, but it turned out they already had those things inside of them. All of my life I had been looking for love outside of myself but it wasn’t until I looked within that I found the love that was always there. It has been an amazing journey so far and I look forward to continuing my quest for authenticity and connection. I have come to the conclusion that love is definitely real, you just have to know where to look to find it. Just remember that you will never find it outside of yourself until you find it within.
I hope you choose to go on your own personal journey. I can assure you that you are never alone. If you look closely enough you might even see me along the way. So follow the yellow brick road and know that there’s no place like home and love will always get you there.”