Sunday, June 12, 2016

Rightwing Nuthouse: “5 Insane Right-Wing Moments This Week"

“5 Insane Right-Wing Moments This Week:
 Meet Trump's Kooky Race Ambassador”
by Janet Allon

“To the ongoing question of whether Trump and the Republicans can sink any lower, the answer this week and every week can only be characterized as a resounding yes! Yes, they can! Way, way lower! And it is not just Trump himself, it is the spectacular limbo-like contortions his defenders and supporters perform. From Paul Ryan's Yes, he's racist but I still back him, to CNN's Jeffrey Lord's Trump is a hero for calling out racism contention. Do they believe the words they say? No one knows in this crazy funhouse world. Here are some examples of the prizewinning nuttery from the week that was.

1. Stacey Dash is going to help Trump get the black vote with this insane plan. Actress-turned-conservative actress Stacey Dash recently demonstrated again why she is Fox News’ favorite go-to commentator on black issues. She told Fox News’ Stuart Varney that she has some fool-proof plans to help not-racist-at-all Donald Trump win the black vote, because she, like Donald, knows what black people really want. Some people have said Trump is racist, Varney pointed out: can Trump really get the black vote? “I know he can, because black people like to make money,” Dash replied. “They like their money and what they’re not being given is the chance to do that and he will give them the tools and the opportunities. That’s what they need.”

As soon as she gets Trump’s ear, Dash is going to advise him to, “get on the ground, get before these people in the inner cities and let them know that he cares.” She’s given it quite a lot of thought and she can help, she told Varney: "I have a plan to do that, a strategy. …I have high-level minorities that are very prominent and they are willing to be a part of this strategy with me. It’s a tactical strategy that’s been used in Afghanistan and it’s worked and I can use it domestically and I will get the Republican vote.”

Seriously, wtf?

First, if something is working in Afghanistan, someone needs to inform the Afghan people right now. Second, she does know that Afghanistan is a foreign country, and it's a military campaign, right? Hoo boy. Varney was not going to go there. He quickly changed the subject, bravely asking, “How do you get away with being a black female conservative in Hollywood?”

2. Good Christian Republican senator just has a teeny tiny request for God. Boy, those evangelicals sure do know how to have a good yuck-fest, with biblical jokes and everything! But we’re pretty sure Jesus Christ would not have been amused by the prayer offered by Republican Senator Frank Perdue, who made a hilarious joke about Obama at this week’s Faith & Freedom Coalition’s Road to Majority conference. 

“I think we are called to pray,” the junior senator from Georgia told those who were gathered. “I think we are called to pray for our country, our leaders, and yes, even Barack Obama." Specifically, he suggested, “we should pray like Psalms 108:9 says. It says ‘May his days be few.'" Oh, titter, titter, chuckle, chuckle went the crowd. Yes, it is the Christian thing, to pray for the death of a president whose politics you don’t like.

The cited psalm goes:
"Let his days be few; Let another take his office.
Let his children be fatherless And his wife a widow.
Let his children wander about and beg; And let them seek sustenance far from their ruined homes.
Let the creditor seize all that he has, And let strangers plunder the product of his labor."

Yes, Republicans have plunder in mind.

3. Jeffrey Lord is quite possibly the craziest Trump surrogate ever, and that includes Katrina Pierson. Every week, the assorted carnivalesque characters who populate Trump World compete to say the craziest most logic-defying nonsensical things they can think of. Sometimes Trump himself takes the crown, often enhancing his win by doubling down on the previous crazy or hateful or just plain headscratching thing.

This week, the prize must go to CNN commentator Jeffrey Lord. The guy is full-on nuts, capable of performing death-defying mental acts of contortion that fly in the face of natural law or man-made logic with the greatest of ease. In a panel discussion this week, Lord contended that Trump was not being racist when he said the judge in his Trump U case could not be fair because he is Mexican.

The facts are not in dispute, Judge Gonzalo Curiel is not Mexican; he was born in Indiana, an American of Mexican heritage. He is a well-respected federal judge who happens to be presiding over a fraud case that is harming Trump’s pocketbook and denting his fraudulent reputation as some sort of champion of the little guy. Everyone, even the staunchest racism deniers out there, Paul Ryan and Newt Gingrich for pete’s sake, have called out Trump’s very obvious race- and ethnicity-baiting comments about the judge. “Textbook definition of a racist comment,” Ryan said.

Everyone except Jeffrey Lord. Trump, he argued, is not being racist. “He is calling out racism.”

Yep, he said that. He stuck to it for about 20 minutes, constructing an impenetrable wall of denial while people like Van Jones and S.E. Cupp brought all sorts of logical arguments, examples and analogies to the table in an effort to get him to see the folly of what he was saying. It was jaw-dropping. Donald Trump is not racist; he’s a hero for pointing out racism that has been created by the American left. That is Jeffrey Lord’s bedrock view, nothing will pry him away from that rock-solid completely bass-ackward belief. Racism did not exist until the left made it up and they are its sole practitioners.

And that birther thing that birthed Trump’s political career, that also had nothing to do with race. Nothing at all.

4. Trump stews all night, then comes up with lame response to Elizabeth Warren’s scathingly accurate takedown. Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren had a busy week, finally endorsing Hillary Clinton and issuing a tirade against the Republican nominee-apparent Donald Trump. She called him “a loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud who has never risked anything for anyone and who serves no one but himself.” She also ripped him a new one for his scam-ridden Trump University, and his race-baiting remarks about the judge in the case, which he has refused to apologize for because you can’t make him.

In response, the loud, nasty, thin-skinned fraud who has never risked anything for anyone and who serves no one but himself, called Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas." So there! Nyah, nyah, nyah! Actually, we’re not being quite fair. Soberly addressing the question of whether he should apologize to the judge he slurred, Trump said, “Yes I will apologize—to Pocahontas. I’ll apologize, because Pocahontas is insulted.”

We imagine he walked away confident that he had really won that round at the playground.

5. Republican mega-donor Meg Whitman compares Trump to Mussolini and Hitler. Oh wait, that’s not crazy. That was one of those rare outbreaks of sanity we’re heard so much about.”

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