Wednesday, June 7, 2017

"The 15 Most Common White Lies and Why"

"The 15 Most Common White Lies and Why"
by Marc Chernoff

"Everyone tells a white lie on occasion, it’s just a question of why. Some white lies save relationships, some ease a hectic situation, and others buy us time. The list could go on forever. Stretching the truth is a natural component of human instinct because it’s the easy way out. We all do it, so there is no reason to deny it. Honestly, I think the world is probably a better place because of our white lies.

As long as we aren’t hurting others or breaking the law, these innocent lies can make life more pleasant. They can absorb potential friction between our varying personalities and vacillating moods as we nudge into one another on the quest through our daily routine. Most of these white lies only stretch an interpretation of what the truth actually is anyways. Given our rigid optimism to each lead a tailored ideal life, white lies simply cushion us from ourselves.

Here’s my list of the 15 most common white lies and why we tell them:

1. It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
2. The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better than 15 minutes.
3. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting that I am clueless.
4. Thank you so much!  I just love it! – Because telling someone that their gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
5. Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being slapped.
6. Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I want others to perceive of me.
7. No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
8. I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
9. Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10 things to do first would just irritate you.
10. Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do… we agree and ask questions later.
11. My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn good at bullshittin’!
12. Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be boring.
13. Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
14. I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this online chat room… ha ha!
15. I thought I already sent that email out.  I’m sure I did. – Because telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our relationship.”

No comments:

Post a Comment