"Good Comebacks To Use When Asked
Stupid Questions As An Introvert"
"When you are an introvert, you can often find yourself being asked some pretty stupid questions. The problem is that when you’re on the spot, it can be hard to think of good comebacks. Before we talk about good comebacks, let’s list some of these stupid questions:
‘Don’t you like having fun?’
‘Wouldn’t you prefer to go out?’
‘Don’t you get bored being on your own all the time?’
And the best one of all:
‘Why don’t you just try and come out of your shell?’
If you are an introvert, you will already know there’s nothing you can do about it and that you’re perfectly happy being one. So how do you deal with people that just cannot accept you for who you are? The next time someone asks you a stupid question, feel free to use one of our good comebacks: Here are ten typical questions introverts get asked and our good comebacks to each one:
Why don’t you smile? This is a typical question an introvert is asked, usually because they are locked away in their own thoughts. Then suddenly their reverie is broken by some idiot crashing in with this question. Here’s how to shut them up:
• I already am, I’ve had Botox.
• So you can see what kind of teeth to order for your dentures?
• I never smile before I kill a man.
• My face isn’t here to entertain you.
• It feels wrong to smile when my parents just died.
• I will when you leave.
Why are you always so quiet? If us introverts haven’t heard this bobby dazzler at least once a week, then we haven’t lived. When you run out of excuses, feel free to use one of our good comebacks:
• Why are you so loud?
• The voices in my head are telling me to be quiet.
• My parents always said if you can’t think of anything nice to say…
• Yes, it’s the quiet ones you should worry about.
• I’m saving my voice for a better occasion.
• Your presence has rendered me speechless.
• I wish more people were fluent in silence.
Why are you always so serious? Introverts appear to be serious because they are quiet, but this is an assumption which might not be true. Introverts can have a cracking dry sense of humor, so use it to outwit with our oneliners:
• How would you know? Have you been stalking me?
• Why are you always so loud?
• Why can’t you ever be serious?
• I’m not, sometimes I’m thoughtful or solemn.
• Someone has to be.
• Because I have to take down The Joker!
What’s so great about being on your own? Ah, this old chestnut. Extroverts will never understand the power of solitude. That time spent alone can be relaxing, energizing and spiritual. You can try and educate this loud extrovert or deliver one of our good comebacks:
• You’re not there.
• I can be myself.
• I don’t have to answer stupid questions.
• I don’t have to keep up witty conversations 24/7.
• Lots of things, why don’t you try it and go and sit over there.
You must be mad. You’ll never convince an extrovert that staying in or spending time alone is the way forward. They just won’t get it. But here’s the time to let your dry humor shine. Make them laugh with one of our oneliners:
• If you say so.
• No, I’m certified sane, hang on, I’m certified something.
• I’d like to see your credentials.
• I’m not mad, I’m just a little crazzziiiee!!
• I must be mad to be still sitting here with you.
You hate people then? A common misconception with extroverts who mistakenly think that because introverts like their own space, they dislike people altogether. Set them straight:
• No, I just don’t have the energy to like you all today.
• Only ones that ask stupid questions.
• Well, I couldn’t eat a whole one.
• Not all people no.
• I once ate one, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Are you a snob? Of course, you’re not, but this is another misconception amongst extroverts that as introverts appear aloof, they must be snobby. You can have some fun with our witty and good comebacks:
• No, listen, I’m not insulting you, I’m just describing you.
• Sorry, I said slob, not snob. You must have misheard me.
• How can I be, I’m here, aren’t I?
•Hey, I admit I have low standards.
• Only when other people are around.
You look bored. Yes, sometimes we are bored, especially in noisy, crowded places. It’s just not our scene. Here’s what you can say:
• I’m not bored, I’m just trying to remember where I buried the bodies.
• Hey, you’re not doing so badly.
• I’m thinking up funny jokes to entertain you.
• My face doesn’t know that my mind is having fun.
• I’m planning my next knitting party.
You don’t know how to have fun. Now, this is simply not true. There are many ways of having fun and to dictate one way over another is rubbish. State your case with these comeback lines:
• I do, it’s just not with you.
• Since when does ‘fun’ have to mean loud?
• I didn’t realize you were the authority on all things fun-related.
• You wouldn’t be able to handle my kind of fun.
• I’d let you show me, but even I have standards.
Wouldn’t you prefer to go out? No, you wouldn’t, and there’s nothing wrong with that and you shouldn’t be made to feel that you’re doing something wrong either. Quieten down the doubters with these:
• I won’t if you will.
• Be my guest.
• I would, but there are people out there.
• I can’t, the sun burns so much.
• I prefer staying inside in the dark, it resonates with my thoughts.
• It’s safer if I’m inside. For you."